7 Signs he is a Control Freak – or might soon become one!
Ever dated someone who just couldn’t seem to get enough of you? And you were so used to guys being vague, it felt kinda smothering and yet kinda movie like at the same time? You know, where all your friends are jealous of your “huge love” (not that you see them anymore, because he takes up all your time, LOVING you so much… Well chances are he is a bona fida certified Control Freak and your life is about to take a serious turn for the worse if you don’t wake up!
Check the following facts to see if they apply…
1. He wants to see you ALL the time, constantly calls and texts, rings you late at night “just to hear your voice” (aka check your home alone) and just randomly “happened to be passing” turns out – smothering, yuck, yuck, yuck! Not to mention disrespectful of your time!
2. He tells you that you are “The One” in the first few weeks of meeting him. Or that he loves you. And you only just met him! If he does either on a first date, go directly to a Police station. That is the world of lunatics, and it is a scary scary place. I have NEVER known any of my friends (or myself, I especially seem to attract this kind of nutcase) to end up marrying and living happily ever after with this start. More like restraining order, leave me the hell alone you weirdo!
3. He introduces you to everyone in the first two weeks, and introduces you as his future wife… and try’s to charm the birds out of the trees with your friends and family, rather than just trying to establish some common ground and fit in. It’s easy to be misled on this one as you think he is making a really big effort for you. He’s not. He’s making a really big effort so that later when you start complaining that he is controlling they will all think YOU are the crazy one! Be warned!
4. He makes YOU responsible for HIS happiness. Run, Run, Run! This is a massive danger sign, as if you are responsible for making him “soooo Happy!” who exactly do you think is going to be responsible when he is un-happy? Ah, that would be you then…
5. He can’t be on his own for more than 5 minutes, he needs you to ‘entertain him’ as he is always ‘bored’ (aka BORING!) and has deep psychological needs that he would rather go and scoop out a septic tank with his teaspoon for the afternoon than face up to being alone with his thoughts… You’d think this kind of person would then have tons of friends, but people are generally repelled by neediness, and at best they tend to have very superficial relationships that are just to allievate boredom, rather than deep friendships where they actually share anything.
6. For reasons you can’t explain, to yourself let alone your Mother, you have this knawing feeling in the bottom of your stomach that something just isn’t adding up right. Listen to it. Hard.
7. His ex’s all did him wrong (you’ll be next), his friends drop hints about his ‘colourful’ past and ‘wild ways’ and you just laugh it off and think they are just trying to embarrass him in front of his new girlfriend. Maybe if you are all 15 yes. But if you are say over 25, and his friends seem like decent guys in stable relationships, I’d say there is a really good chance they are trying to WARN you. I mean, they can’t come up to you and say “Hey look I know X is my mate, but he treats women like shit, just thought you should know he will probably make your life hell!” can he? It’s not necessarily true, but take note of it anyway, ESPECIALLY if more than one says the same thing to you. That is a MASSIVE red flag!
There is an EASY TEST to see if he is a Control Freak or not…
Tell him you are busy for a day or two and that you need to get on with X or want to go and do Y on your own and see if the bottom drops out of the sky!
If it does – RUN! Because normal people have their own lives to get on with!